A Fresh Box of Kleenex Is Not a Mental Health Plan

Today Was Hard

Today was hard. Not because my calendar was full, discipline issues needed attention, or emails were piling up. Today was hard because our youth are hurting.

And some of them are hurting themselves.

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA, 2026) reminds us that connection, community, and access to support are critical parts of prevention.

Thankfully, my conversations today did not involve students expressing suicidal intent. They did, however, involve multiple young people intentionally harming themselves with something as simple as a basic school supply.

As I sat with each student, the stories came. Then the trauma came.

Family struggles. Death. Grief. Fear. Instability. Experiences children should never have to carry, yet they walk through our doors carrying them in backpacks no one else can see.

Some students did not understand the health risks of sharing an item that had broken someone else's skin. Others saw friends self-harm and thought maybe it would make them feel better too. Friendships were impacted as worried parents tried to protect their own children. Behind every student was a family trying to figure out what to do next.

Then came the question I hate answering: “Does the school have a counselor my child can talk to?”

No. I am sorry. We do not have a counselor on our campus.

I am tired of that being the answer.

Arizona, Our Students Deserve Better

This is bigger than one school or one difficult day. The American School Counselor Association recommends a ratio of 250 students to one school counselor. During the 2024–2025 school year, the national average was 372:1. In Arizona, it was 570:1 (American School Counselor Association [ASCA], 2026).

And averages do not tell the whole story.

They do not tell you what 570:1 looks like when your school has no counselor at all. They do not show the child sitting in an administrator's office trying to explain why hurting their body seemed easier than carrying what was hurting inside. They do not show the parent asking, “What happens tomorrow?” They do not show administrators trying to manage discipline, attendance, safety, academics, testing, teacher support, family concerns, hundreds of students and somehow also become the mental-health support system for children experiencing significant trauma.

I will always sit with a student. I will listen, call home, help create a safety plan, find resources, and check again tomorrow. But caring deeply about children does not make me a licensed mental-health professional. Our system should not operate as though it does.

Mental Health Is an Academic Issue

We talk constantly about test scores, school letter grades, attendance, engagement, behavior, intervention, and growth.

Those things matter. But, how do I ask a child to worry about a reading standard when that child is trying to survive what is happening outside of school? How do we expect students to focus on academics when their minds are consumed by grief, fear, trauma, or emotional pain?

Supporting student mental health is supporting student achievement! Research reinforces the importance of connection. An analysis of the 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey found that strong school connectedness was associated with lower prevalence across every mental-health and suicide-risk indicator examined, including persistent sadness or hopelessness, poor mental health, seriously considering suicide, and suicide attempts (Verlenden et al., 2024).

Relationships matter. Adults who notice matter. Adults who listen matter.

But connection should be the beginning of our mental-health support system and not the entire system.

School Safety Must Mean More

We talk a lot about school safety in Arizona. We invest in gates, cameras, emergency plans, drills, and School Safety Officers. Those things matter, and I am incredibly grateful for the SSOs who work alongside administrators to protect our schools. Howver, school safety must mean more!

Sometimes the greatest threat facing a child is not someone trying to get into the school. Sometimes it is the pain that child brought inside with them.

Counselors should be working alongside SSOs, administrators, teachers, nurses, psychologists, social workers, families, and community partners. SAMHSA (2026) emphasizes strengthening suicide prevention through connection and community. Schools are one of the most important communities in a child's life. We are often where adults first notice something has changed and where students finally feel safe enough to say, “I need help.”

When they say it, someone professionally trained to respond should be there.

I Worry About Tomorrow

I worry about the students who saw what happened today and might imitate it. I worry about the child who desperately needs someone to notice. I worry even more about the one who tells no one. I worry about families who love their children deeply but may not have immediate access to outside mental-health services.

I worry about follow-up. Why? Crisis response is not the same thing as ongoing care.

A child does not disclose trauma on Thursday and magically stop carrying it on Friday.

Calling home matters. Safety plans matter. Resources matter. Checking in tomorrow matters. But so does having a trained professional who can build relationships with students before they reach a crisis point and provide appropriate follow-up when they do.

A Fresh Box of Kleenex Is Not Enough

Today, I know I made a difference. I listened. I asked questions. I called parents. I developed safety and support plans. I made sure students knew adults at school cared about them.

Still, tonight, it does not feel like enough. At the end of the day, after helping one young person clean up her tears and her cuts, making the phone calls, and finishing the conversations, I looked around my office.

I gathered the mound of used Kleenex.

I threw them away.

And I cried.

I did not cry because my day was hard.

I cried because our kids are hurting.

I cried for children doing everything they know how to do to tell the adults around them, “We need help.”

I cried for families who are scared. I cried for schools doing everything they can with limited resources. And I cried for district leaders who want to help but sometimes have no immediate solutions to offer either.

This is not about blaming schools or districts. It is about acknowledging that the system we have created is not enough.

Tomorrow, I will go back. I will check on every student from today. I will add their names to my ever-growing mental caseload of students who need another conversation, another check-in, another adult watching a little more closely. I will walk into school with a smile on my face, a fresh box of Kleenex on my desk, and a heart ready to help.

Because that is what educators do.

But a fresh box of Kleenex is not a mental-health plan.

A caring administrator is not a counselor.

An SSO is not a therapist.

A teacher cannot teach a classroom full of students while also carrying the full weight of every child's trauma.

So tonight, I cry.

Tomorrow, I will get back to work.

And I will keep saying this:

Do better, Arizona.

Fund school counselors. Put trained mental-health professionals where children already are—in our schools.

If we are serious about school safety, prove it.

If we are serious about academic achievement, prove it.

And if we are serious when we look children in the eyes and tell them their lives matter, prove it.

Our students are already telling us what they need.

It is time for the adults responsible for the systems around them to listen.

Tonight, I will cry for them.

Tomorrow, I will be there for them.

But Arizona, we have to do better.

A Note About Help

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, but conversations about suicide prevention and youth mental health cannot be limited to one month. If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional distress, a mental-health crisis, or suicidal thoughts, call or text 988. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free, confidential support 24/7 (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, n.d.).

References

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (n.d.). Get help. https://988lifeline.org/get-help/

American School Counselor Association. (2026, February 13). ASCA releases updated student-to-school-counselor ratio data: Ratio improves to 372:1 from 376:1 since last data collection. https://www.schoolcounselor.org/getmedia/62807f33-a020-4c4f-ac6f-bf284803fd97/pr_ratios-24-25.pdf

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2026). Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.samhsa.gov/about/digital-toolkits/suicide-prevention-month

Verlenden, J. V., Fodeman, A., Wilkins, N., Everett Jones, S., Moore, S., Cornett, K., Sims, V., Saelee, R., & Brener, N. D. (2024). Mental health and suicide risk among high school students and protective factors—Youth Risk Behavior Survey, United States, 2023. MMWR Supplements, 73(4), 79–86. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/73/su/su7304a9.htm